Life is Officially a Bitch.

Life is a officially a bitch. Tonight I had to tell the worst news possible to the people I love most in the world. It was something I wasn’t going to have to admit to myself, let alone say to anyone for a very, very long time.

The votes are in and cancer has taken the lead in this race. I learned late this afternoon that the cancer has spread to the lining of my brain. I could tell my doctor wanted to tell me this news about as much as you would want to be shredded to death with a dull cheese grater. The MRI and PET scan show that there are now spots of cancer present in my brain. She said unfortunately once the cancer gets to this point, it gets very aggressive. The prognosis isn’t good, but at the same time I have to say I do not know what the prognosis is yet.

What I do I know:

They are recommending I do 10 rounds of radiation on my brain.

I don’t understand this part at all but I will get more detail Tuesday, but I would go to a specialist to have something implanted that allows some magical something to be administered to my nervous system. (makes perfect sense right?)

I will meet with my doctors Tuesday to discuss the next chemotherapy and where I want to be.

Now I have to admit that once I heard the words “brain” and “cancer” in the same sentence, all I could hear floating around in my brain was ‘I am gonna die”. I am going to die way sooner than I was planning on”.

So I am here to share with you guys absolutely nothing more than that because that is all I know. I don’t know what this means as far as where we are going to live, how we are going to live, etc. All I know is that I need to live, and want to live for as long as possible. I have to hope everything else will fall into place. I’m scared, I am upset and frustrated. I hate that this is happening. All that does not stop the fact it is happening. I am not one to take this crap lying down so on we go. I might be asking for a lot of kicks in the ass in the near future, reminding me I can beat this… at least for a while longer.

I just wanted everyone to hear the news from me, and to make sure it was the same news being shared. You will know more when we know more. I promise I won’t go into hiding. I know it’s hard to know what to say to news like this. Hell, there is really nothing to say. Just let us know you’re there. That’s all we need.